happy back together ;)

everyone wants to be happy and nobody wants to feel pain. but you can't make rainbows without any rain.

okayy ! some said aku neh sort of mental retarded ?? ahh ! are you serious man ?? agak agak ah weh nak ckp aku cmtu ! tapi aku tak kisah pon actually ! haha . nak tau kenapa ?? sebab aku neh kalau gadoh , kemain kepala batu lagi . tpi bukan batu sgt pon . normal lah kalau bergaduh , sure kita tamau kalah kan ?? spe yg nak kalah and nak bgi chance org lain menang tuu aku kategorikan sebagai "orang yang pling bendul and at the same time orang yang pling mulia" . sebab apa ?? sebab dorg sanggup rendah kan EGO dorg semata-mata untuk bgi peluang ke dua, ketiga dan seterusnya . aku ?? memang tidak mungkin menjadi seperti itu . tapi aku tidak lah kejam atau bongkak . 

nak tau sebab apa ? bayang kan kalau setiap kali bergaduh benda yang sama and benda tuu akan keep on happening ! apa akan jadi ?? tepuk dada tanya diri korg lah kan . bgi aku , aku tak suka nak besar kan benda yang dah jadi , tapi kalau untuk nak maaf kan org senang mcmtu bukan aku . 

ELYN ! yess kau ! thanks sebab byk bgi aku nasihat , dorongan ! ecehh ! dah mcm nak buat speech dah ayat aku kali neh . haha . but serious ! kalau tada kau , aku tatau apa jadi ! maybe aku dah tada pape ngn MUHAMMAD NUR FADHLI . i love how you make me laugh, when i dont even want to smile . sebab dah sebulan aku rasa aku gaduh , bertengkar . mencarut , menyumpah dan mcm mcm agi yg aku . tpi tuu aku rse bru skit . but thanks syg ! kau penyelamat aku ! hahahah . and to MUHAMMAD NUR FADHLI , next time kalau nak crik psl lagi , meh try ~ sangat di alukan eh ?? 

buat masa neh kita memang baik , tapi jgn bagi baik tuu bertukarrr jdi benda pelik eh ?? mintak tolong sgt ! org mmg syg b ! tpi please ! jgn ikut kan sgt apa kawan buat ! geram jee ! grrrr -_____- aisehhhh !! jgn nak bgi org jdi cm dlu . buat apa yg b dah jdi dri tarikh 31 may 2010 smp lahh ke harini . okayy ?? jgn bgi syg jdi setan mcm dlu :D 

today i'm happy because i realised how lucky i am for everything that i have . today i am happy because i don't have any reason not to be . thanks Norshafiqah Elina and Muhammad Nur Fadhli ♥ ♥

you listen here !!!!!

This is for the broken hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don't want to laugh, because you know it's not going to help, but you don't want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it's falling apart too. 
You don't think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them. That's the confusing part, you don't know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most. And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you're getting happy again, but you know inside that you're just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you're back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. 
You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it. And you can't help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn't happened to them And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don't know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. 
And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you've had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you're to the point where you don't care who see's. Because you've spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it's not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back.
Everyone says, "It will be okay…” But you know it won't. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You're still hurt, but you've learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don't hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this...

;'(

Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real. Mad because I don't know how you feel. Upset because we can't make it right. Sad because I need you day and night. Angry because you won't take my hand. Aggravated because you don't understand. Disappointed because we can't be together, but still I'll love you forever.

All I'm asking for is one night together. Just you and me. All alone. And if you can honestly say you don't feel anything for me after that night, I will finally let you go.

Maybe they are right. Maybe I did get my hopes up too high. Maybe I was in over my head. Maybe I am the stupid one for ever thinking that you loved me, but maybe, just maybe, I am tired of being alone.

Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I feel, of what I've said, of who I am, but most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my life the way I feel when I'm with you.

nyah kau dari FB aku !! ;)

okay lahh ! sebenarnya aku nak ckp lah psl sorg budak neh . dia study kt politeknik tapi taboleh lah nak mention kt mana kan ! biar lahh aku sorg je yg tau dia stay kt mana and study kt mana ;) okay ! dia neh berkawan rapat dengan sorg lagi kawan aku neh ! senang citer macam neh lah ! tarikh 24th spetember 2011 aku ada buat openhouse di jalan merak batu 9 sijangkang ~ 
and then aku ada lahh mintak tolong si mamat neh untuk tolong angkat pinggan kotor, tolong buat air and biar kawan aku yg datang kenal dia neh spe kt aku ;) start nye ,aku ingat plan sume akan berjalan lancar ! but end up , aku jadi benci kt dia smpai sekarang and tuu memang no mercy punya benci ! yeahh man ! ayat yg pling baik untuk dedua org neh , PERGI MATI NGN KORG PUNYA JANJI TUU :')
yg aku heran , patut nye si mamat neh dengar ckp aku ke dgar ckp kawan dia ?? okayy ! dah start ada tanda soal besar punya atas kepala neh :D agak agak korg , perlu ke aku ajak nextime bila ada openhouse ? tentunya tidak ! sebab tidak ada manfaat pon dekat aku :) and korg boleh nyah dari hidup aku selamanya ~
nak dijadikan cerita , dah tau dia punya punca psl aku gadoh ngn BFF aku and mamat tuu boleh plak dia tada  jumpa aku ! tada nak say sorry kt aku ! even kt FESBUK pon dia tada nak tegur aku . nak IM aku ?? fuck ! okayy ! FUCK is the STRONG WORD for you man ! kau ingat kau boleh happy ke ngn gf kau ?? yg selama neh kau condem dia ?? yg selama neh kau mengadu kt aku mcm mcm psl si perempuan tuu ?? last last post mcm mcm ??
ehh aku tak HADAP lah nak amik sorry kau ! but atleast say sorry man ! say sorry ! sume neh punca kau ! bodoh nye lah manusia mcm kau ! kau neh dtg dri mana ?? lahir dri mana ?? keluar rahim alien ke ?? okay ! aku dah melampau ! but who cares ? neh aku punya blog ! g mati kau lahh nak terasa ! ehh man ! tolong lahh ! KAWAN LAGI PENTING DARI GF/BF ! INGAT OKAY ! LAGI PENTING ! SOO JANGAN BUANG KAWAN DRI BUANG BF/GF ;)

feiiiwwww :3

I like today and perhaps a little future still, but the past is really something I'm not interested in. So, as far as I'm concerned, I like only the past of things and people I don't know. When I know, I don't care because I knew how it was. 

When I say , i love you , it's not because i want you or because i can't have you . It has nothing to do with me . i love what you are , what you do , how you try . i've seen your kindness and your strength . i've seen the best and the worst of you . and i understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are . you're a hell of a man !!!

tips for gains happiness :)

1. Falling in love. 
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts. 
3. A hot shower. 
4. No lines at the supermarket. 
5. A special glance. 
6. Getting mail. 
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road. 
8. Hearing your favourite song on the radio. 
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside. 
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer. 
11. Chocolate milkshake ... (or vanilla ... or strawberry!) 
12. A bubble bath. 
13. Giggling. 
14. A good conversation. 
15. The beach
16. Finding a 20-pound note in your coat from last winter. 
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Eye contact with a hot member of the opposite sex.
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours. 
20. Running through sprinklers. 
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all. 
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful/good looking. 
23. Laughing at an inside joke. 
24. Friends. 
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you. 
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep. 
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner). 
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones. 
29. Playing with a new puppy. 
30. Having someone play with your hair. 
31. Sweet dreams. 
32. Hot chocolate. 
33. Road trips with friends. 
34. Swinging on swings. 
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger. 
36. Making chocolate chip cookies (and eating them...!). 
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies. 
38. Holding hands with someone you care about. 
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change. 
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much-desired present from you. 
41. Watching the sunrise. 
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day. 
43. Knowing that somebody misses you. 
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply. 
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

KIM BUM yg TERSANGAT LAHH COMEL ♥♥

okay ! aku saja jelaa nak buat entry neh ! konon konon fanatik korea ! eh eh ! jgn salah faham ! aku tak fanatik korea okay ! mmg aku tapena minat ! but but but :) aku fanatik KIM BUM neh sorg je . hahah :)
haaa ! korg tau !! 1st time aku tgok citee korea ngn feeling skli !! memula , kawan aku , SHIKIN , dia tgok citee neh kt tv8 . then aku tengok dia seronok becitee kt aku . since aku neh tatau pape psl citee neh , dga mudah nye aku minatk dia bukak lappy dia and bukak citee neh memandang kan dia kata dia ada citee BOYS OVER FLOWERS ;) soo dah makin menarik bilaa aku tengok citee tuu then bgi fast forward ! haha
okay okay ! climax nye , bila aku stop kt minit yg ke 56 kott , then ternampak muka KIM BUM neh !! awww !! *pengsan* !! okayy ! dah sedar balik ! tetiba aku rse mcm teruja nak tengok details and start blik from the beginning ! *mangkuk* ! hahahahah . then aku mengambil masa dlm 4 hari non stop from makan and mandi sehari sekali je ! see !! semata mata tgok kekasih hati ! haha . then , after dah habis overall story neh , aku pon ulang ! ulang and ulang and ulang ! smpai ta pegang buku ! ta tgok tb *1st time* . tapi bukan aku minat tgok cite dia pon ! tgok semata mata psl muka si comel neh je   ♥!!
kalau tak , tada mse mak nokk nak tgok korea neh . okayy ! aku tau sume org sure kenal an dia neh sape ! but sje gatal nak letak jugak pictures dia ! bukan untuk korg eh ! untuk diri sndiri . hehe  ♥


neh antara pictures KIM BUM  ♥

comel ! kan kan kan ???

i wish i can get the flowers from him !! i love you like a love song baby :D *tetiba* hahaha

anyotanyotttt !! muachhh !! :D

bila aku boleh jadi perempuan mcm sebelah dia ! *sigh* jealous !!!!

mcm nak sepak je kau neh ! apahal comel gilaaa !!!! boooooo !! hahaha

final ;( MALAYSIAN STUDIES VS COUNSELLING AND GUIDANCE!!

hadoii . acane nak start neh ! okay dah tau ! heypp ! korg tau tak bila dlm otak kita , asik ada sejarah je ?? sure penin mcm nak pengsan an ?? same goes to me ! sebab pada 3 october 2011 aku dah final . and final aku tuu include 2 paper yg kne struggle gilaa punya gila ?? what the hack ?? MSU ! did you guys know both of the paper needs to be separates from the same day ?? haihh !! mangkuk betol !

okay aku dah baca MALAYSIAN STUDIES and kne plak bce COUNSELLING AND GUIDANCE ! tak parah plak ?? bukan nak salah kan date yg dorg dah tetap kan ke apa . tak kesah lahh . kalau baca boleh jawab . tak baca tboleh jawab . mmg lahh senang . tpi bila dah bercampur sejarah , mmg sedap ahh nak amik paper yg second tu kan ?? dah lahh pukul 9am start paper and 1st paper tuu MS ?? msuk paper second plak , ramai classmate ngadu otak dorg dah bercampur dah ngn subject tdi . pastu acane nak igt ?? dah lahh C&G neh theories ! and including PSYCHOLOGISTS ???!! and yess ! thats the reality !

but thanks ALLAH . i already taking those subjects . but bukan soal amik dah or belum ! but RESULT ?? emm ;(

sumpah lahh cuak bila nak tggu result ! hopefully semua paper yg aku buat lulus and tada REPEAT !! haihh ! risau gilaa :( tulaaa time final lahh nak gadoh , time final lahh nak g kedah ! amik kau ISMAH BINTI ISMAIL !! nextime , dok umaa ! buat revision ! baca buku smpai lebam ! jgn salah kan org je !! salah kau jugak ;(

okayyyyyyyyyyyy !!!! sedar dah pon ! but apa boleh buat . menyesal pon tak guna ! dah buat ! bukan boleh padam sume and buat balik kan ?? soo bersyukur jelaa and redha !! ;)